The First of Many

6 months, 2 days

It has been over a month since I last blogged. Far too long. A lot of wonderful things have happened in the past month marking the first of many "Firsts" to come:

1. Gwen rolled over for the first time! (4/9/11)
   
2. Gwen tried oatmeal cereal for the first time (4/23/11) She couldn't decide if she liked it or not, and there was much more ON her than IN her when we were finished!
   
3. Gwen's first tooth broke through her gum (We noticed on 4/30/11) Actually, it was her first TWO teeth! She's already an over achiever, hehehe
   
4. I celebrated my first Mother's Day (5/8/11) Gwen "helped" me make my first piece of fridge art!
   
5. We took our first family vacation to the beach (5/14/11) Gwen let out a loud squeal when the waves touched her feet. It was priceless.

Five Months of Love and Laughter

5 months old

Today my sweet little girl is 5 months old. Wow. Just, wow.

Every day, every week, my heart just keeps growing. It was love at first sight when Gwen was born, but I've discovered that love never stops growing. I wonder if someday my heart will burst from just how much I love my daughter, or if the love will just start overflowing, cascading down the sides of my heart, seeping out into the world.

Gwen is becoming her own little person, and I feel like it is such a blessing to be a part of this little girl's life. I am so proud to be her mother and she my daughter. My daughter. It feels so wonderful to write those words. My mother and I have always had such a close relationship and I would love nothing more in the world than to have a similar relationship with my daughter.

The other day I had her in an outfit that said, "I'm Mommy's dream come true". Some days I wonder how could I have been so lucky to have Gwen. Not some other child, but Gwen. She is so special. I can't imagine life without her. It's like she was always meant to be; all those years just waiting to be born and now she's here and it's like she's always been here. Only five months on this Earth and I feel like she has always been a part of Bryan and I's life. I sometimes joke with Bryan that she is the best gift he has ever given me, but it's true.

When Gwen was just a few days old I had her laying in her bassinet, on the verge of falling asleep, and I had the Dixie Chick's "Lullaby" song playing in the background. That is my song to Gwen: "Life began when I saw your face and I hear your laugh like a serenade/How long do you want to be loved?/Is forever enough, is forever enough?"

Happy 5 months to My Everything, My Gwen.

Care Bear Stare!

18 weeks, 1 day old

Today I feel very nostalgic. I have definitely been feeling this way since the birth of Gwen but today, in particular, I feel very much so.

On the way home I stopped to get gas and went in a nearby Blockbuster that is going out of business. I wanted to see if I could snag any great deals on some children's videos to grow Gwen's collection. Unfortunately, there wasn't many good ones left but I did score a copy of "The Care Bears Movie". Ahhhhh....memories. Share Bear. Good Luck Bear. True Heart Bear. Good stuff, for sure. Of course I'll start collecting all the Disney movies (B purchased the new release of my all-time fav "Beauty and the Beast") but I want to get Gwen all the really old 80's cartoons and movies that I grew up with. "The Care Bears Movie" is from 1985 - I was a little older than two.

Now this is where I start to sound old (although my mother assures me I am not). There are so many movies and cartoons out today that I just don't feel are appropriate for the age groups that watch them. I want Gwen to grow up experiencing the "good clean fun" that I did. I wonder if every generation feels that way? It just really seems like every decade becomes more and more complicated. Of course, for all the cartoons that I deem inappropraite there are many that are wonderful. Sesame Street? Classic and still around to this day - love it. I have discovered Super Why, Sid the Science Kid, and many more. I guess my concern is with the shows that are geared to the older crowd; I am not a fan of SpongeBob, for example.

I wonder what cartoons will be on in a few years from now when Gwen is more of the "watching" age. Right now she enjoys the flashing colors and shapes, but it won't be long before the words and storyline will have meaning and impact. In the meantime, I think I'll make a list of my favorites and start checking them off.

4 Months Old

16 weeks

It's hard to believe my little girl is 4 months old!

I wish I had taken today off from work to spend with her in celebration, but I really need to keep my days off for emergency, illness and most importantly our family vacation in May! I miss her so much when I am at work. I have her picture on my desktop and everytime I close a program and see her smiling as big as she can I can't help but smile too.

I've been taking monthly photos of her and to see the progression she has made is surreal. She looks very different at four months old then she did at one month old. It's amazing how fast they grow! I remember how I felt when I packed up her newborn clothes; slightly sad to see the little outfits tucked away. Well this week I packed up her three months clothes and while six month clothes are still big on her she'll grow into them quickly.

Gwen has her four month wellness visit next week and I am NOT looking forward to more vaccines. I hate seeing her get upset and I'm always worried that she'll have some kind of reaction even though she did very well with her two month vaccines. I can't wait to find out what she weighs - it's always a guessing game but I know she'd definitely gained. I really notice it when I am trying to lug her around in her carseat - it just seems heavier and heavier everytime I lift it!

I know the next four months will go as quickly as the first. I am enjoying her being "little" but unfortunately little girls grow up and Gwen is doing just that!

Moo, Baa, La La La

15 weeks, 4 days

Gwen's favorite book is "Moo, Baa, La La La" by Sandra Boynton. It's so cute to see her smile as I make the silly animal noises. It's such a short, simple book that I have it memorized. Sometimes I recite it to her without the book open - driving in the car, getting her diaper changed. It doesn't matter. She coos just the same and gives me the biggest smiles. I have to admit I love the book too - super cute - and I look forward to the day when Gwen tries to make the animal noises with me too.

Thankful Thursday

15 weeks, 1 day



I have been following several new blogs as of lately. One in particular has struck my heartstrings. Let me briefly tell you the story of the Staats. Shortly after turning four months old their daughter Maddie passed away suddenly and for no apparent reason. Maddie's mommy and daddy love her very much and miss her dearly but each day they are growing a little stronger (http://www.kandjstaats.blogspot.com/). Their strength and faith has been incredibly inspiring and their lives have touched many people. Maddie grew her angel wings exactly one month ago today. In her honor, I am participating in Thankful Thursday.


Lately I have become much more aware of the good things in my life. It's so easy to get caught up in life's daily struggles, but Gwen is teaching me not to sweat the small stuff. The worst day can become the best day just by seeing her smile. To her the world is not so complicated - eat, sleep, play...life is good. I am trying so hard to never take a single day for granted. The grief of strangers reminds me of just how precious each day on this earth is with one another. Today I am thankful for the life I have been given. I hugged Gwen a little tighter. I sang to her a little louder. I read to her a little longer. I felt content that even though I don't have everything I may want, I have everything I need.















My princess, Gwen.

My Favorite Thing

13 weeks, 5 days

There are many things that I love about being a Mommy. Let me share with you my #1: Holding Gwen in my arms while she sleeps. It's intoxicating. I felt that way about nursing and although that didn't work out as planned I would always feel so at peace when Gwen nursed. This is what usually happens: Gwen will be crying hysterically (usually from a tummy ache - she has bad gas). I'll pick her up, hold her close against me, and stand rocking gently side to side whispering to her that it's okay. Give it five minutes or less and she falls asleep in my arms. It makes me feel so good inside. I like to think that she feels so secure in my arms (and she is). I am her protector. I will never, ever let any harm come to her. I wish moments like those could last forever. I could hold her all night long like that but I usually end up gently laying her in her crib for a brief nap and then she awakes with smiles. So rewarding. So in love.